This was originally a post but I thought it deserved its own page:
I’ve been interacting in the comments over at The BitterSweet End. You can look around for my comments there (right now mainly under the more recent posts Doubt vs Faith and What Kind of Morality Is That? Is God Evil?). I think I also posted under his About page and a couple other places if you want to search around and even join in the discussions.
But the reason for this post is that I just wrote a reply and it really summed up well my thoughts about Christianity and why I would not likely ever return to it. Sometimes it’s neat getting a bunch of thoughts down in one place – so I’m going to share my response here. The other commentator had asked me to give God another chance. This was my reply:
I want to tread lightly in my response to this because I know your faith is very important to you, but I also want to be honest and blunt about my views on this. There are reasons that it’s not likely that I will return to ANY religion (the hiddenness of god, the problem of evil and suffering, etc.) but even if I did – it would not be to Christianity. I left Christianity because I no longer trusted its claims but as time has passed I no longer even respect it. I respect Christians – but not Christianity. I don’t respect its basic storyline – I find it not only implausible but immoral (the need to appease a god through the sacrifice of a life, thought crime, punishment for being human to name a few). I don’t respect its methods of discerning truth (faith, an error-prone ancient book, visions, prayer, etc.) or its use of fear (whether you believe in annihilation, separation from god, or a literal hell).
And I don’t see the need to search for god. If he wants to talk to me he knows where to find me (and then I would ask him to reveal himself to everyone on the planet – not just me). I’ve never been convinced that there is a need for a god to remain hidden. A parent is obvious to his children and yet they are still free to choose to love that parent or not.
And even if I was convinced there was a god – that would only be the beginning of the journey. I would then have to figure out what this god was like and determine if he/it was worth paying attention to – never mind whether it deserved my worship and devotion. Christians assume that if there is a god it is their type of god. There are endless types of gods that could potentially exist. Maybe god is an evil god or a god who doesn’t care much about us one way or the other … the list could go on.
If you or anyone else wants to understand my views and where I’m coming from on these issues then you can visit my website at www.leftchristianity.com
I can respect what your faith means to you and others and I hear the sincerity in your desire to explain the god that you know to others. I was there for 20 years so I understand how it feels. But it’s not likely I’ll ever return to Christianity. It would have to change so much that it would be unrecognizable – it would be a different religion.
If anyone wants me to expand on some of these thoughts then ask away and I may even devote another post to doing that.
Left Christianity 
Actually, God shows Himself and speaks to everyone who is willing to open their hearts and minds to hear what He has to say. I pray that you will one day do the same, for each day is not promised to us.
You’ve brought up two of the issues I mentioned on this page – the hiddenness of god and hell.
I’m wondering Saved By the Grace of God if you’ve ever pondered these two things? Have you wondered why god would not reveal himself in an obvious way? And also why a supposed loving god would create an eternal torture chamber for those who didn’t put the pieces together properly and figure out that he exists (and even which type of god he is) even though he’s chosen to remain hidden?
I know that no one is guaranteed another day. I battled the fear of hell instensely over my roughly 2 year exit from Christianity. A huge part of me would have given anything to believe again. But I couldn’t undo the doubts and the subsequent conclusions I reached. It would have been like trying to undo knowing that 2+ 2 = 4. Now I no longer fear hell and am actually embarrassed for Christianity that it must rely on fear and threats to try to keep people from questioning. Now instead of fearing what might happen to me when I die – I just embrace each day and spend my time focusing on what is important to me.
I do appreciate comments – even those that don’t agree with me – so certainly feel free to comment or ask any questions again.
Hi. The concept of hell has been greatly misunderstood by many, as you said, causing intense suffering for many, wondering what kind of god would impose such suffering on those who are not “saved”? Some prefer to believe in a literal understanding of biblical terms. As a point, in one of the more famous versions of the Bible, the King James, the word “hell” is translated from the Hebrew word sheol 31 times and the Greek word hades 10 times. But sometimes sheol is also translated as “grave” and “pit.” (Quite a difference from torture.) Many churches have taught that there is literal eternal conscious torture and suffering of the “unsaved,” and misapply the scriptures as far as I am concerned. Word pictures are obviously used in the Bible, but they are often not literal. Just to mention.
What a load of tosh, hello she was a Christian, like me i had alot of unanswered questions and they keep growing, i cried out to god as a sincere Christian, god chose not to listen, hardly surprising when he obviously does not listen to so many in our world suffering unspeakable horrors, children being abused while god watchs and does fuck all. Sorry to be so blunt but your ignorance astounds me, like how you subtly used fear towards end of your message, we don’t know how much time we have left, i can only presume as a former Christian meant, before you face the wrath of God and hell fire, yes what a loving god we have.
For those of us who question God’s very existence, it would be a priori to ask him to show himself to us, before we have established that fact. This does not seem reasonable to me. Why should belief that God exists be a prerequisite to belief that God exists?
Well put imbrocata!
Oh, this comment just MADE MY DAY.
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“If he wants to talk to me he knows where to find me”
I got a good laugh out of that one. I stopped by Imbrocata’s blog and then I saw some of your comments. I thought you might be interested in joining a bible study group I’m getting (make that hoping) to get together. Check out my sites, and see what you think.
Coincidentally the blog I just posted is “The Gospel According to Christopher Hitchens.” I guarantee you’ll like it.
Thanks for stopping by my site. I was wondering if you have any interest in that those Bible study sites I have? I think it is going to be real interesting. I’m not interested in proving or disproving anything. The approach on the site will be that, to use an example, Sam Harris believes such and such. One can argue about what he believes, but there’s no way to disagree about what he actually said. That’s a fact.
Facts are interesting. And I love archaeology. Interested?
Well said.
Thanks for stopping by. I look forward to following your blog.
Hi, I have a secret password that I have come up with. I have not written it down nor told anyone what it is. I figure if God wants to get a hold of me via some messenger or whatever, he can just have the messenger give me the password, then I will know the message is legitimate. I guess it sounds sort of silly and crazy, but it gives me an easy answer to “what would make you believe in God” – still as you say it is a long way from God (actually I am sort of a theist, but of what kind of God I have no idea) to full-fledged Christianity – whatever that is, there are so many brands.
“Those who return to the plow (go back to sinning) are not fit for the Kingdom of God” – Jesus…You were never saved. You were a false convert as evident by Christ’s Parable of the Sower. “Seeds on stony ground”. See False Conversion at: wayofthemaster.com
T.J. Luschen, That sounds like the simple Law of Attraction / Ironic Process Theory to me…
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Hi, thank you for your blog. I am very young and got pregnant. While I was pregnant, my Christian “friends” came to me and said not to have an abortion, that they would help me take care of the baby..that if I wanted, they would even keep him until I was finished with my degree..things like this..anywya, I gave birth and it’s been awhile..no one is here..I researched Judaism, and Jews do not believe in hell, do no tbelieve in the trinity, or that the messiah needs a second coming. Judaism does not have so many denominations the way that Christianity does. I don’t know that I can be a Jew because I have not learned enough about it, but the more I study Judaism the more and the more isolated I feel at Churches I visit the more I do not want to raise my son in Church. I was hurt really bad to the point where I am scared of a lot of Christian people. My atheist friend is the one that helps me with my son..Christians came and told me, “keep the baby keep the baby, we will help and G-d will provide.” But those same people give me attitude when I call..I don’t know..I was even pressured to get married while I was pregnant so that my son would not be born out of wedlock, and I am really young. My husband is nice and he recently became a Christian, but most of my life improved when I stopped going to Church.
That’s exactly the same problem I faced with Christians! Their insincerity and fake “love”! They do not love truly from their hearts but because Christ commands them to. They hug people they barely knew, say nice words they don’t mean and use the word “love” randomly and easily when in fact they are cheapening the very definition of “love” I do not trust Christians because I met too many Christian scammers and hypocrites, it is sad that Christianity has degraded to the point whereby nowadays when a person tells me he/she is a Christian, in the back of my head I’m like “oh dear I must be careful of this guy” It takes a certain sociopath to be able to accept that billions and billions of people are suffering in eternal hell downstairs while they feel they can be happy in heaven.
Your point about many christians believing that if there’s substantial evidence that a god exists, that it necessarily proves that Christianity is true. I grew up in a fundamentalist church, went to Seminary, and was a youth minister for years. No one ever tried to prove that christianity itself was true. The apologists for Christianity never tried to prove that christ existed or that the bible’s claims about virgin births, magically multiplying fish and bread, and the dead rising from the graves were true or historical; The arguments were always ethereal; some philosophical type argument about how a vague undefined divine power was necessary for humans to exist.